As the youngest of three, with one sister and a brother, I was able to see what they got up to and have a nosy at different things targeted towards girls and boys. One of these was a couple of books about puberty. One was for girls, and one was for boys.
As I was flicking through the two books, I noticed something. The girls’ book had a page on boys’ puberty, but there was nothing in the boys’ book on what girls were going through. It really annoyed me as a kid. I felt expected to understand them, but there was no expectation for this to be reciprocated: a clear double standard.
In P7, our year group was having a talk about puberty, but then they stopped and separated the boys and girls. I thought that was weird. It seemed pointless to me – I thought we should be learning the same things on the same topic. Keeping each other in the dark about what we would both be going through felt frustrating to me again. If intentional or not, it was starting to come across as if we were supposed to be ignorant of what happens to each other, if it didn’t apply to us.
Even though I ended up attending an all-girls school, there was still a weird attitude about periods. No one had seemingly actually told anyone about what a period actually felt like or what to do when you got one. Since no one spoke to us about our menstrual cycles, people started to assume that you weren’t supposed to talk about them. Eventually, after a while, everyone had gotten theirs, and it became less of a taboo.
There eventually became a more open discussion on what happens during puberty and what both teenage guys and girls experience. However, this didn’t seem to translate outside of school life. It was still hidden from guys, not mentioned, and we even went as far as to use a code name.
That quite frankly seemed stupid to me. If I am capable of experiencing it and hearing about what male puberty was like, I was certain they were just as capable of hearing scientific facts. As time went on, it was clear to me that those two books were an example of a pattern. Men were simply uneducated and felt uncomfortable with even hearing the word period. I can’t even be surprised. There has been no expectation on them to learn about menstrual health.
It’s important to talk about menstrual health because it is normal. If we can casually mention migraines and other health problems, then a period shouldn’t be too far behind. This attitude has the subtext that menstrual health should be hidden and that it is embarrassing to mention – that periods are some shadow in the dark to fear, when it’s just a part of life.
Keeping menstrual health education separated doesn’t benefit anyone. It leaves men unaware and unsure of what to do and women unable to simply explain the reason they are sore or need to go to the bathroom.
– Cara K., Youth Board Member
Disclaimer: This is one individual’s experience.
* Any mentions of ‘women’ or ‘female’ by Menstrual Health Project (MHP) includes those assigned female at birth. We recognise and respect that all those who can experience menstrual health problems or associated concerns may not identify as female. MHP aims to provide accurate, inclusive information to everyone.
